Obama Volunteers Continue to Make Calls, Knock on Doors

“We can’t stop!”

Teams of psychiatrists have been deployed to find Obama volunteers, inform them that the campaign is over, their candidate won and it is OK to go back to normal life now. It is estimated that thousands of volunteers remain at large putting up yard signs, calling voters and canvassing neighborhoods.

Ida May Jackson, 69, was found wandering in an Orlando neighborhood with a clipboard banging on doors around 2 A.M. and had to be sedated after refusing to believe Americans had actually elected an African American President.

Jason Clark, 22, who claimed he not slept, eaten or bathed for at least 48 hours was gently lead away from a field office in Columbus at noon today mumbling, “Just 10 more calls…can’t let up…not one minute…not one second.”

“We have got to get these people to stop,” commented American Psychiatric Association spokeswoman Ona Couch, “they are really starting to piss people off.”

McCain Puts Country First: Votes for Obama

Late today, in move many pundits are calling, "super dooper extra mavricky" John McCain announced he was endorsing Barak Obama for President. " I am going to go to the polls tomorrow and cast my ballot for the man best able to lead our country and it sure as heck isn't me." McCain told reporters.

Pundit Bill O'Reilly had harsh words for McCain after the endorsement calling him part of the "lunatic left fringe", and encouraged his listeners to vote for McCain "regardless of who that hippy freak is voting for himself."

Sean Hannity opined that McCain had "come completely unhinged" but stressed that McCain was still more qualified than Obama whatever McCain may think.

McCain went on to say, "Let's face it, I'm old, my ideas are old fashion, Sara Palin is a whack job and I was just endorsed by Dick Cheney! Can we do better than that? My friends, Yes We Can!"