Pervs Protect Marriage

The Republican Party put its best foot forward to defend marriage this week when Senators David “Call Girl” Vitter and Larry “Wide Stance” Craig came out as co-sponsors and primary spokesperverts for the “Marriage Protection Amendement”.

A joint statement released Friday by Vitter and Craig stated:
“Republicans believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman while sex should be between one man in diapers and one prostitute, or one man in a public bathroom stall and one other man in the adjoining stall or occasionally two.”

“People should never have sex outside of marriage unless they are ashamed of it.” Craig and Vitter went on to say.

The Mormon Church has also come out in support of the amendment stating “The Constitution should be amended to only allow marriage between one man and one woman. Marriage between one middle aged man and five 13-year old girls one of whom is the one man's niece is an issue of religious freedom already covered by the first amendment.”