Roberts Flubs Oath

WASHINGTON - In what some are calling a blatant attempt to interfere with the orderly succession of power, Chief Justice John Roberts diverged from the traditional text as he administered the presidential oath.

“Do you, Barak Hussein Obama,
solemnly swear, to chew goo, too, sir?
If, sir, you, sir,
choose to chew, sir,
with the Goo-Goose, chew, sir.
Do, sir.”

But Obama, himself a constitutional scholar, easily caught this anomaly and averted disaster when he forcefully responded to Roberts:

“Mr. Chief Justice,
I won't do it.
I can't say.
I won't chew it.”

Though some are accusing the Chief Justice of deliberately trying to sabotage the presidency of a man who did not vote to confirm his appointment to the Supreme Court, Roberts maintains his tongue isn’t quick or slick, sir, and that it was a mistake anyone could have made.

Meanwhile pundits on the right are using the garbling of the oath as an excuse to question Obama’s legitimacy as President. Bill O’Reilly opined “If Barak HUSSEIN Obama, won’t swear to chew goo with the Goo-Goose, does that mean he will refuse to do tricks with Chicks and Clocks? Will he fail to put Fox in Socks on Knox in Box?”